Don't Discount your Dreams

Every time I felt like giving up on things, I would listen to this song. Through all the tears, anger, hopelessness, and isolation, it honestly got me through. This song has actually kept me alive. It is okay to not be an ideal mold of what society expects.

I am bawling right now (in a good way) because K.Flay tweeted me back tonight. If she only knew the role she has had in my journey. Her music speaks to me. I want her to read my book because she inspires me. Through her music I learned to not give up, to be loyal to myself, and to finally be myself. Few people know this, but her music actually was a factor in me having the courage to write the first book.

Download all of her music (legally) and listen to her on shuffle. She does not disappoint.

Determination versus Desperation

I am going to throw a Hail Mary pass in my life. I am not desperate. I am determined. Every time I try to leave the book behind, it resurfaces. I have to write a letter and let a stranger know things only I know.

I have an amazing friend who is a guy. He has this sixth sense and always reaches out when I am up to something good or bad. I will always be business-minded, so we talked shop, but I told him what I was up to. He assumed it was regarding a character of the male persuasion. Hell no, it is all about me. The main character. You can’t choose who you love, but you must work and force yourself to love yourself. At the end of it all, who else is there for you? Really. The world doesn’t crumble when you are alone in your darkest hours. You can make it through. You have to fight like hell. I am going to fight for what I want. It has nothing to do with anyone BUT MYSELF.

I do not want or need anyone. That is the beauty of it all. I can look back and say, it was all me. Every decision I made for myself. I do not seek anyone else’s approval.

By no means, do I deem this desperation as I once would have. I am determined. This book is the one thing I have ever done in my life that I believe in. It unites people. No one judged me. Shit, all these years and I could have been myself?

Six degrees of separation. I am close. I cannot wait any longer for something to manifest. Everything happens for a reason. I will discuss that later.

Bold Beauty Prediction

Ulta is putting a hurting on Sephora. They are run better. Could it be because Ulta has a female CEO and Sephora is run by a dude?

What cosmetics and beauty company would be run by testosterone? It is mainly a female customer base. I get a free makeup brush once a year from Sephora. The same one every year, which I do not even use. Ulta showers me with hauls.

Both offer great customer service, but Ulta will come out on top.

eBay Epiphany

If eBay sends me one more email where they lay out my opportunities to sell more, I want to be forthcoming and tell them. It’s NOT ME, it’s you. These people watch things for 7 days, “Win” it for $1 and then take forever to pay.

Then for the price of $1, I have to take on the role of a seamstress-measuring chest and length and everything else. If I do not answer fast enough, they prod, and then question my measurements.

Also, for the price of a Slurpee, I am expected to be open just like 7-11.

I am off my meds thanks to Rite Aid and Shire, a pharmaceutical company. I am having awful side effects. This is inhumane. You hear about side effects of taking the medication, but never about not taking it. I am irritable and so tired I may slip into a coma. They make you dependent on it then deny it due to insurance shit.

Real Reporters

I have had reporters reach out to me and their email address is the publication they work for. Tonight, someone on Facebook commented for me to email a gmail address.

No web presence AT ALL.

NO legitimate affiliation with any broadcasting outlet. Vague Facebook and when I responded asking if they could supply anti-psychotics when I told a traumatic story, the name did not come up in bold.

Just because you say you are a reporter on Facebook and LinkedIn does not make you one. If you are trying to become one, be honest. I write and there is no way the content would be written by anyone but myself. It is a great story for me to tell in a book I write. Actually it is already written.

Oddly enough, I sold a toaster on eBay today…..

Time to Turn it Up

I am going to post an interaction between myself and a jackass. If I had to profile them, definitely an American male. Late 30s to early 40s. Control issues. Unhappy in his life. Sits at a desk for his job. Probably has a dad bod.

Europeans are not as ignorant as American men.

My point is:

NEVER LET SOMEONE WHO DOESN’T KNOW YOU MAKE YOU FEEL LIKE SHIT

That poor attempt to demean people signifies issues they have within themselves. Be grateful you aren’t in their life and obligated to such people.

Think twice. Is this a warning? Is big bad Amazon coming for me? The CEO is getting divorced which is good so he can focus on running his business properly.

I think he should think twice and worry about his own life instead of being all up in my shit.

I think he should think twice and worry about his own life instead of being all up in my shit.

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