Copy of Sales Suspicion 9.1.18

I have no idea if my book is doing well because of three different variances in reporting. This is holding up the 2nd book being produced because I can just write a series of blog posts and inject a ton of advertisements and probably earn more money than what my royalties report is showing.

It is showing I have made $152. In doing the math, I can list people who purchased the book from receiving tags on social media or other correspondence. My math has me making more than $152. Then the NPD Bookscan report is saying I sold 0 copies in 22 days, yet I have 7 paperback "verified purchase" reviews. Then, on the ranking charts, I look like a rockstar.

Last night, I was the #1 New Kindle Release in a sub-category, but still that $152 does not increase. I did a test and we will see, I ordered books redeeming points. More than 10 books were ordered so I will maybe see what is going on there because I have no idea what is going on. One report says I am horrible, another says I'm mediocre, and another says I'm in the top percentage. I completely all together stopped checking analytics reports on the websites I have. I am going to have to stop checking these reports until I truly understand this book's performance.

I get it. Everyone thinks they are an author and thinks their book is the best. I wrote this for personal reasons and truly believe in it. I know there is a small army out there who have sat back and thought about their life and their loved ones from it. For $152 though, I could have worked part-time doing a meaningless job and held Live Streaming events. If I do not get true numbers, I am going to have to order author copies, turn it off from Amazon, and peddle this book at a county fair.

I want to know what the hold up is or if there is a secret that is being kept from me. I want a publisher to deal with this and the editing. Everything else, I can do on my own. I need to know though if people out there are reading it besides my small army. I even paid $6.32 for marketing with credits I had. Not 1 copy sold from the marketing. Really? It was a giveaway and someone should have won a book, but there were no winners. I have always had a 6th sense when it comes to shadiness and this sixth sense is sending red flags my way.

That is why I turned mass distribution off because something is not sitting right with me. We will see with what happens with my order because I paid retail for them just to see if I am being toyed with. If anyone out there prays, please pray a publisher finds me. Please!

Copy of Copy of Stand Strong 8.28.18

Always stand up for yourself, your beliefs, and your intellectual property. I set the price at 14.95. I saw that, who would not hire me, but would sell my book for more than the price I deemed, as the author, formatter, editor, publisher, and cover designer had it at over $16. No. Within 12 hours, I had taken away their rights to try and use me because their company needs to prove to Walmart they can hang with the big dog. Walmart should really consider their ownership of them. Walmart saves their customers money so why was selling it for over the price that I set? It's a shame because I absolutely love Walmart. I was there this morning and the associates are so friendly. The gentleman who works in the tissue and cleaning supplies knows me because I am there at 6am once a week and was excited to see me. I thought about the culture inside of that store: warm, supportive, and friendly and then I thought how are they even in their right mind to be "affiliated" with

So stand up for yourself and use social media strategically. It will set them straight.


Copy of 8.25.18 People on Pages


It is funny. I wish I could weigh people's value with how many words I write about them. It can range from one word to one story. I guess you can see it in the first book. I am at a creative crossroads. I am not an author of fiction. My life is better than fiction.

Remember the "Choose your own Adventure" books? You might get to do that. To me, one adventure is more compelling. The real adventure. The truth. The nonfiction. I have no passion for one person and can't pretend. I have 2 books started with 2 different beginnings, but the same ending. 

Someone downplayed me so I have to downplay them. I am discovering that our truths do not match up. The book depicts them as one desolate dude. An advisor recommended to have them fall in love with the one character. I can't when I feel nothing. The second book will flop if it doesn't feature passion. That is why I am at a creative crossroads.

I am waiting for more feedback from the readers. The sales reports are incorrect. I know who to ask.

Copy of Calm and Coasting 8.21.18


I am 22 pages into the 2nd book. I feel on top of the world. When I write, I feel as if I am the only person in the world. This is so easy to write. There is no bleeding as I type. I am actually sitting here thinking about what I want to do for the book cover. That is what will be challenging. Covers draw them in. 

The content will get heavy and will take composure. I hope this book isn't too long. It will go faster because I can now format like a champion. I can actually release a 3rd. We will see. I still have to think about it. I change my mind a lot. 

I still only have 4 reviews on Amazon and my sales are not matching other numbers so who knows what is going on with that. I stopped checking and want to get this done now. Is it strange that every rejection this year has actually been the best thing for me? I feel really good and really confident. I am immersed in the book so now I have to make sure I eat, sleep, and focus on my emotional well-being. This one honestly though is like yanking a bandaid off. 

Nothing like the first book. For me, at least. I went through it all already.



I do not understand why in Google Search, only my Kindle reviews show up? The paperback which I believe has 12 5-star ratings comes up with no review? Aw that’s right, Amazon only owns 40% of the paperback, why would they want that to sell?

The Paperback has five stars as well and they are true reviews, not fake.

The Paperback has five stars as well and they are true reviews, not fake.

Strange how the Kindle edition has a 5-star rating shown, but the paperback right above shows nothing.

Strange how the Kindle edition has a 5-star rating shown, but the paperback right above shows nothing.

Also, my article with my experience in self-publishing has been posted on Medium if anyone is interested. My Medium link is under my portfolio. It is an 11 minute read so it is pretty long.

Greed will Getcha (PSA)


I am furious right now. My book is on sale for $14.95 on Amazon. No more. Please do not pay $19.05 for a used copy that isn't really used? Please do not purchase from outside of Amazon. When you do that, I only make $1.36. When you purchase from Amazon, I only make $4.90. I didn't write this for greed. I wrote it for society to be a more open place. I have to wait 60 days to get payment. I do not even know how sales are. I have reports ranging from $0.00 to $127.69. Obviously, it must be selling because Amazon keeps printing more to keep in stock. More places are carrying it for a higher price than I set. Last time I checked, I wrote the thing.

These companies did not go through what I went through. Companies can give two flying fucks about mental health. I hope I can find a real publisher because obviously, I lack experience. If you follow me, you know my unemployment runs out soon (very, very soon). No one will hire me for anything. Not even to write an blog post because I am crazy and they are narrow-minded and judgmental. Yes, it is very discriminatory and inflammatory. There is a thing though. Karma is always forged. Instead of being a leech off of the system, I wrote a book. I busted my ass and gave it everything I have. I have never believed in something so much. I will press a button and unpublish it, making it vanish because Corporate America and their greed do not align with my values. This crazy woman will fight and this crazy woman does not ever give up.

It is like the book is about mental illness so let's mind fuck the author by profiting off of her illness. Twisted fucks. That is why society is ashamed to speak about it and everyone is so fucking judgmental. Shame on all of you. I really belong in Europe. They don't manipulate your mental property.

Me showing you what corporate greed is. would not hire me for anything, yet can sell my book for more than I set the price at. Sickening.

Mathematics and Messages

September 2018

Dearest Amazon (KDP),

My readers reaching out do not match the sales statistics with Amazon. I also want my one paperback review added back and my paperback reviews on the first page of my SERP. We are both making shit for money on this. The one difference is, you have a LOT more than me. Honest data and integrity are all I ask for. I’ve been a customer for years. If someone had any guts, they would contact me to work something out. I’d sell the Kindle version to you outright. The paperback matters to me. I know you read my blogs. You know how to contact me.

Really, no activity in 10 days? Come on now. Don’t discount me. I’m attracting visitors reading what I have to say about you. After all, it is the WORLD WIDE WEB.

Also the video tutorials are awful, along with the community. NotJohn is Notsignificant. With the videos, if I wanted to listen to stuttered audio, I’d get a scratched album out and play it. Play and promote a more positive role please.


Your favorite indie author.

Melissa Ann Meade

Letting Loose


This is my professional website. In doing simple, unpaid human observation, I once had this divided into “Topics.” I watched what content was being devoured. No one cared about Positivity or Business. They wanted the real stuff. The TOTALLY TRANSPARENT truth. The audience wanted to see me struggle. They wanted my emotions. A post “Evicted” was the most read blog post-four lines. Seeking out my struggles, sick people.

This is going to be a long post so if you do not like profanity laced content and long blog posts, X out, but I will draw you in. I am utilizing full 1st Amendment Rights on this one. While, I moved my personal content to another private, locked site; I lost visitors. In one week though, 147 came knocking on the door to the personal website. To those who have missed me, I am back for one long post only. I have a lot to say and maybe you will find pleasure in me being honest. Remember though, I am a phoenix and I will rise from the ash.

The whole SEO thing was said politely. What sets you apart though? Every company offers optimal SEO results. Boring and basic! Do they set up with G Suite and train you on that beast? Google is not just a search engine. Everyone writes about and promises the same basic shit. The blog posts are boring and the same. Also, way too long. Promising shit and they probably can’t even figure out G Suite. All of the codes injections and the UIs. Please and I am unemployable.

I have scared people off from hiring me because of my content on this website so I moved it. They want to promise their B2B clients rainbows, butterflies, and daisies instead of dandelions. The funny thing is though, they all promise the same thing. They do not want to take the time to learn or teach anyone how to really do it. Everyone wants results as fast as they can get them. You have to take the stairs to success. Inundated with keywords, word clouds, and hashtags. (YAWN). I rarely use hashtags by the way.

I am in a David and Goliath scenario where I am having issues with Amazon. I need a publisher. I will do the book tours, speaking engagements, and bust my ass. I believe in this book. The thing I know about the internet is that it is all about managing manipulation. Audiences love controversy. True creatives hide their creativity. Trust me. I have found comradery in people I assumed were common. It is a shame that it is a secret society.

I do not want to do what I did in my former life. I am in the 2nd half of my life. I started getting published and found it funny because people thought I was famous. Suddenly, people call you who could give two shits about you. After, I lost my job, people were embarrassed to speak to me. I was treated like I was diseased by former colleagues. I went to work every day though. My job was myself for the first time in my life.

After filling out, I’d say 700 applications, I cannot find a position. Perhaps it is because I do not have a journalism degree or a marketing degree. Some people who have those degrees produce some boring shit that could’t captivate a fly. I speak my mind. I have people troll on me hard core. I deleted half of my connections from social media just to get them to pay more attention to me. They think I am this rich and famous writer. Haha. That is where manipulation comes in.

In all honesty, I have no income coming in at all. I have been selling many of my belongings. I am going to have to sell my house. I am going to possibly have to move in with my mother. That oozes success right there. I honestly have lost everything. Friends and financial security, but I do not feel like a failure. I have freedom, not fear. I did not lose hope. I have not lost hope. I will not lose hope.

No one would know though because I would never let them. Now, I am letting you know. I have received more rejections than anything. It’s been almost seven months. The book I wrote, it’s raked in $242 according to Amazon. I was hired to write blogs, but we do not see eye to eye by any means. Our content doesn’t align. I understand I am an acquired taste. Do not feel sorry for me because I can’t sink any lower. Everything around me is so insecure, but I am secure.

I have begged CEOs for positions. I have pleaded with connections and did networking. I got nothing from it. I have had my content stolen from me. I have had people attempt to capitalize on me. I have written so much content for free, which is fine because I have been writing all of my life.

I have been hacked, which felt as if I was mentally raped. When offered a job, I was told to close the door and sit on the couch. I still can smell his pungent breath and get chills up my spine at the mere thought of it. I left with my dignity, but didn’t get the job.

As I wrote the book and uncovered all of these repressed memories, I already had placed my sanity on the line. I was being hacked and victimized the entire time as I wrote the book. I feared leaving the house. Apple told me to keep my web camera covered. No one would help me. I published the book within 60 days. As I look back on all of the shit I went through, $242 is not worth it. I need a publisher. The book is good. It is the most brilliant thing I have done in my life. It is out of my network now. It is sad that people who are in my close network did not even support me and buy it. I know who all of you are. I can tell you I will make it with 110% certainty. I have known this since I was 14. When I do make it, I will not be there when you look for me.

Publishing Punishment


I am not a publisher. There will be no second book until I get one. I don’t have the energy to monitor Amazon.

I do not want Jeff Bezos as my publisher. I am sorry, but who launches a transportation service when there is a shortage of truck drivers? In his hunger for control and power, he can’t control everything and the cracks are starting to show. He needs to trust people. Total Type A. My book will probably get pulled from there but you know what? I will have my values at the end of the day. He will have more money that he can’t even spend because he works too much. What kind of life is that? You can’t control everything and you have to eventually trust people.

Piracy, no Privacy

I am going to have to pull the book. I unenrolled it from KU and KLL starting in November. Then the Kindle version will be gone. I have to make a serious decision regarding the paperback. I need a publisher. The PDF version, that only Scamazon and I had, is now being pirated. Did one of their employees sell it for $2,000 to a Chinese pirate? The whopping $150/month they are showing as my earnings is not worth my heartache and hard work. I believe in it but need a publisher to protect me. It is copyrighted.

Now time to report this to the Feds. I need sleep and I need to disappear from the world for 30 days.

KDP-Killing Data Privately

Scamazon and KDP did not contact me regarding my five missing sales from 11.22.18 and 11.23.18. Benedicte and Ellie told me I would hear a resolution regarding my missing sales data that I provided evidence to by 11.30.18 at the end of the day. I heard nothing. I emailed them four times and filled out surveys letting them know how piss poor of a company branch they are.

The other authors are speaking. This is a global issue. How ignorant, greedy, and blind can a company be?

Surrendering to the Sham


I turned expanded distribution on for all of my books because I didn’t get paid to write anything (well besides college papers) until this year. Not like it is generating a boatload of money anyways.

It has been three months and Amazon continues to disregard me. Nothing is going to change and I don’t know what more I can do. I have other things to focus on. They don’t want to see they are broken and it is not my problem. I tried, but like they say, “ignorance is bliss.”

Triple Threat

Today I was asked why I haven’t been writing much. I have been and would like to give an update.

Despite Scamazon skimming sales (still), I am going to be releasing three books of poetry over three days at the end of December. The dates have symbolism. Think of it as me giving a gift to the subjects of the poems. All I can say about Capricorns is merely to stay away from them.

I have no choice but to use Shamazon because they monopolized the self-publishing industry. Scamazon sent me paper receipts of paperback books I had ordered, yet the sales were never registered, so I didn’t earn my whopping $10 in royalties. I now have physical and digital evidence. They are “looking into it” like they always seem to be.

I am supposed to hear something back by the end of the day today. I am tired of fighting this entity for the past 2 1/2 months, so I just filed a complaint with the FTC. If the FTC doesn’t handle it, I asked who would. I am done being capitalized on, and I see they are doing it to others so I will be a martyr. I also will most likely be filing a civil lawsuit against them because I have an overwhelming amount of evidence.

I encountered other self-published authors in different countries who are having the same issues. Since I am in the United States, I have to take action through the government, which Scamazon is in cahoots with. I have even given them 70% ownership of the Kindle version and allowed for expanded distribution so they could profit off of me even more. All I asked for in return was accurate data which is still being skimmed. They have bazillions of dollars and think it’s okay to rip myself and their other authors off?

My audience is beyond the Divided States now, and I have my books (that I know of) in four countries. I have broken past my first degree which was honestly not much help.

I was told a few weeks ago I had low self-esteem and was jealous of two people. Neither being true, they can’t even speak for themselves. I am going to take on this monstrosity of a company. I am sure they will resurface when I win my lawsuit.

Conforming to the Capitalists

I just turned on expanded distribution for my books. Let them profit off of me. I know I have integrity and the book is good. May as well, help the economy. I have other things to concern myself with,

Maybe other sellers will actually report the sales. We will see. Wonder how fast the vultures will descend and feast on it? Raising the price as I get under $2.00/book.

I am humble and can stretch the $2 so I am going to let the good times roll!

Transformation Tuesday

I just turned the book off of expanded distribution. 72 hours and it's shut down. Amazon only. Until I make enough to live on, I refuse to make $1.36/book. When I can actually see the correct number of sales and the correct dollar amount of royalties, maybe it will go expanded. I am thinking screw that though. Someone can pick me up, give me a contract, and then it can go mass, or the next one can. These executives don't bat a lash when they see a $500 utility bill. My stomach is in knots when I think of it. I am standing up for myself, my beliefs, and this book is worth more than $1.36/each copy. I think it's worth more than $4.90/copy, but that is expensive to my audience and I am not greedy. It is about abolishing a stigma and I will obviously take on this battle alone because "the people who are crazy enough to think that they can change the world are the ones that actually do." Jack Kerouac thank you for your beliefs and drive. They still live on.


Oh, I am just thinking, I must have applied for 12 jobs for and they didn't even consider me for any position. I got 1 email for 1 job out of 12 getting REJECTED. The other positions, I just guess I wasn't selected. Now, they want to sell my book?

I wasn't good enough to hire, but I am good enough to sell and make a profit on. 

Walmart really needs to kick that stain of a subsidiary to the curb. They discriminated against me because I checked YES ON ADA. They envisioned probably someone in a wheelchair because so many companies are ignorant. Do they forget that mental illness in 1998 went on and is covered under ADA? Ignorant. I was more than qualified for those positions too. What point does even serve? Walmart bought them or they'd be gone. I shopped there once and got shady sheets that were probably sewn in a Hoboken basement by an old lady who has her adult son living in the basement.