This is my professional website. In doing simple, unpaid human observation, I once had this divided into “Topics.” I watched what content was being devoured. No one cared about Positivity or Business. They wanted the real stuff. The TOTALLY TRANSPARENT truth. The audience wanted to see me struggle. They wanted my emotions. A post “Evicted” was the most read blog post-four lines. Seeking out my struggles, sick people.
This is going to be a long post so if you do not like profanity laced content and long blog posts, X out, but I will draw you in. I am utilizing full 1st Amendment Rights on this one. While, I moved my personal content to another private, locked site; I lost visitors. In one week though, 147 came knocking on the door to the personal website. To those who have missed me, I am back for one long post only. I have a lot to say and maybe you will find pleasure in me being honest. Remember though, I am a phoenix and I will rise from the ash.
The whole SEO thing was said politely. What sets you apart though? Every company offers optimal SEO results. Boring and basic! Do they set up with G Suite and train you on that beast? Google is not just a search engine. Everyone writes about and promises the same basic shit. The blog posts are boring and the same. Also, way too long. Promising shit and they probably can’t even figure out G Suite. All of the codes injections and the UIs. Please and I am unemployable.
I have scared people off from hiring me because of my content on this website so I moved it. They want to promise their B2B clients rainbows, butterflies, and daisies instead of dandelions. The funny thing is though, they all promise the same thing. They do not want to take the time to learn or teach anyone how to really do it. Everyone wants results as fast as they can get them. You have to take the stairs to success. Inundated with keywords, word clouds, and hashtags. (YAWN). I rarely use hashtags by the way.
I am in a David and Goliath scenario where I am having issues with Amazon. I need a publisher. I will do the book tours, speaking engagements, and bust my ass. I believe in this book. The thing I know about the internet is that it is all about managing manipulation. Audiences love controversy. True creatives hide their creativity. Trust me. I have found comradery in people I assumed were common. It is a shame that it is a secret society.
I do not want to do what I did in my former life. I am in the 2nd half of my life. I started getting published and found it funny because people thought I was famous. Suddenly, people call you who could give two shits about you. After, I lost my job, people were embarrassed to speak to me. I was treated like I was diseased by former colleagues. I went to work every day though. My job was myself for the first time in my life.
After filling out, I’d say 700 applications, I cannot find a position. Perhaps it is because I do not have a journalism degree or a marketing degree. Some people who have those degrees produce some boring shit that could’t captivate a fly. I speak my mind. I have people troll on me hard core. I deleted half of my connections from social media just to get them to pay more attention to me. They think I am this rich and famous writer. Haha. That is where manipulation comes in.
In all honesty, I have no income coming in at all. I have been selling many of my belongings. I am going to have to sell my house. I am going to possibly have to move in with my mother. That oozes success right there. I honestly have lost everything. Friends and financial security, but I do not feel like a failure. I have freedom, not fear. I did not lose hope. I have not lost hope. I will not lose hope.
No one would know though because I would never let them. Now, I am letting you know. I have received more rejections than anything. It’s been almost seven months. The book I wrote, it’s raked in $242 according to Amazon. I was hired to write blogs, but we do not see eye to eye by any means. Our content doesn’t align. I understand I am an acquired taste. Do not feel sorry for me because I can’t sink any lower. Everything around me is so insecure, but I am secure.
I have begged CEOs for positions. I have pleaded with connections and did networking. I got nothing from it. I have had my content stolen from me. I have had people attempt to capitalize on me. I have written so much content for free, which is fine because I have been writing all of my life.
I have been hacked, which felt as if I was mentally raped. When offered a job, I was told to close the door and sit on the couch. I still can smell his pungent breath and get chills up my spine at the mere thought of it. I left with my dignity, but didn’t get the job.
As I wrote the book and uncovered all of these repressed memories, I already had placed my sanity on the line. I was being hacked and victimized the entire time as I wrote the book. I feared leaving the house. Apple told me to keep my web camera covered. No one would help me. I published the book within 60 days. As I look back on all of the shit I went through, $242 is not worth it. I need a publisher. The book is good. It is the most brilliant thing I have done in my life. It is out of my network now. It is sad that people who are in my close network did not even support me and buy it. I know who all of you are. I can tell you I will make it with 110% certainty. I have known this since I was 14. When I do make it, I will not be there when you look for me.