Melissa's Manic Memoirs

Copy of Countdown to Cut 11.8.18

I have four more days of being bound by agreement to offer the Kindle version for free for the Memoirs. I apologize, but I will never have a book of mine be read for free because it is a scam. “Reach more readers make more money” is a complete sham.

We are talking about Scamazon or should I call them Shamazon now?

I am STILL waiting for them to call me. I will have Melissa’s Manic Memoirs 2030 by the time they call me.

I sent them an email asking if they forgot about me to them yesterday. Re-donk-ulous.

I also emailed another agent and guess what? No response! The risk was not greater than the reward.

Copy of Determination and Drive 10.27.18

From August 31, 2018

This week was one of the toughest weeks I've had since the last week of March. The second book will be about this year. I can't see my sales, there is an error with the report. In the back of my mind, I am thinking my unemployment runs out soon, no one will hire me, and I am showing $152 in royalties. The royalties won't come to me until 60 days, and the book is not selling. I did the math in my head of the people who supported me and sent me pictures of the book, and it didn't add up. This week was full of anger, frustration, and depression. I believe in the book. Why was I feeling like a failure? I do not know what is going on with KDP, but I have 3 different views of the book. One is that it sucks, the second is that it's doing okay, and the third is that it rocks. 

I then saw it was being sold for more than the price I wanted to charge. I went into a KDP Community which sounds like unity and harmony. I asked a question about sales. A gentleman told me that "my book isn't selling anyways." I am destroying his mediocre, myopic mind in ranking. Feeling anger, I held back unleashing on him because he will get what he wants: attention. That's why he comments on every post. He doesn't build anyone up, he buries any form of self-belief they may have. I decided that the wild west isn't for me and walked away.

I then thought that I did everything I could in six months to make myself employable. What more can I do? For the first time in my life, I felt as if I was enough, yet not enough for a company. I could have laid in bed all week and cried. I decided to help people instead of moping. I decided to do an AMA, not to promote the book or myself, but to feel like I have a purpose. Why was I put on this planet, there has to be a purpose? I turned it into positive by helping others as I thought, maybe I need help? I don't. 

This warrior never stops working. I may have lost everything, but I found myself. To those that walked away, I think it is a shame because they would not be able to survive this alone. I can solidly say if they even try to speak to me,  

Copy of Direction Determined 10.18.18

I am doing a lot of YouTube videos because some like to read and some like to watch. I am expanding my audience even more. My channel is easy to find.

Amazon-I will call you back tomorrow. xoxo

What triggered the callback? I’ve been emailing for weeks. My video or $400 order today?

Speaking of that, get ready because I got the direction for the second set of memoirs. Can you believe I have content going back from 1994? I need to edit and then will bang that out. I have an amazing support system!

Facebook friends-special announcement tomorrow.


Where does time go?

Copy of What I'm Writing 10.6.18

Memoirs 02-03 Kindle free versions go away on 11/11/18 and the paid version will go away on 11/12/18. Plan accordingly.

Reissuing this bad boy “an eclectic array of poems from my adult years.” Not linked to one person.

Melissa's Manic Memoirs Book Cover.png

From Melancholic to Catastrophic

Want to see emotions?

Banging this out then I go onto Melissa’s Manic Memoirs 2018. We will touch upon Teddy, but I may change his name to subject matter. No capitalization. You can be your own judge of subject matter.
I am honestly slapping my resume, cover letter, and disclaimer on LinkedIn. If someone wants me, they can get me. The world is not changing in regards to mental health, so I will crank out as many years as I have to.

I am focusing on making myself stronger than I already am. I always get the last word and come out on top.

Copy of SERP SHOUTOUT 10.3.18

10/4/18: Odd, It’s baaaaaccccckkkkkk.

My book Melissa’s Manic Memoirs no longer shows up on my SERP. It is not present on the first or second page. It is available on Scamazon and if you buy it, I will have no clue. No one seems to be buying it, but I get messages about it daily. Hey, I am used to working for free.

Wonder why it disappeared? Same reason why a 5-star valid review disappeared, I suppose. At least their warehouse employees are now making $15/hour. Money talks and buys silence.

Copy of Loudly Laughing 10.3.18

Word to the wise: If you ever claim a knowledge panel on Google, check it at minimum three days a week. I am laughing. Scamazon’s links to my book seem to have disappeared from my first page after I called them out. Since 9/26/18, the trail on the book has gone ice cold. They just gave their disgruntled employees $15/hour and the dude is richer than Bill Gates. Let’s mess with some girl who wrote a book and is intelligent enough to know when strange things are going on. Hush money.

Time to go step up my SEO.

I have been busy and haven’t been blogging on here much. I just checked in to see what is going on with me and the world.

Crazy how I have to check on my web presence because there is no privacy or protection. Well, Google protects me. Another one of my favorite companies.

Copy of Words: my Weapon 9.26.18

I now understand the word big government as I attempted to search for what agency and then branch I would file complaints with. The web pages were either not found or it led to websites I didn’t really trust. The last time I filed a report when I had been hacked had never been acknowledged. I have my one go-to in my arsenal: words. I will write and cross-channel my articles . At least I stand up for and protect myself.

Coming soon: The Seedy Side of Self-Publishing

Copy of Sales Suspicion 9.1.18

I have no idea if my book is doing well because of three different variances in reporting. This is holding up the 2nd book being produced because I can just write a series of blog posts and inject a ton of advertisements and probably earn more money than what my royalties report is showing.

It is showing I have made $152. In doing the math, I can list people who purchased the book from receiving tags on social media or other correspondence. My math has me making more than $152. Then the NPD Bookscan report is saying I sold 0 copies in 22 days, yet I have 7 paperback "verified purchase" reviews. Then, on the ranking charts, I look like a rockstar.

Last night, I was the #1 New Kindle Release in a sub-category, but still that $152 does not increase. I did a test and we will see, I ordered books redeeming points. More than 10 books were ordered so I will maybe see what is going on there because I have no idea what is going on. One report says I am horrible, another says I'm mediocre, and another says I'm in the top percentage. I completely all together stopped checking analytics reports on the websites I have. I am going to have to stop checking these reports until I truly understand this book's performance.

I get it. Everyone thinks they are an author and thinks their book is the best. I wrote this for personal reasons and truly believe in it. I know there is a small army out there who have sat back and thought about their life and their loved ones from it. For $152 though, I could have worked part-time doing a meaningless job and held Live Streaming events. If I do not get true numbers, I am going to have to order author copies, turn it off from Amazon, and peddle this book at a county fair.

I want to know what the hold up is or if there is a secret that is being kept from me. I want a publisher to deal with this and the editing. Everything else, I can do on my own. I need to know though if people out there are reading it besides my small army. I even paid $6.32 for marketing with credits I had. Not 1 copy sold from the marketing. Really? It was a giveaway and someone should have won a book, but there were no winners. I have always had a 6th sense when it comes to shadiness and this sixth sense is sending red flags my way.

That is why I turned mass distribution off because something is not sitting right with me. We will see with what happens with my order because I paid retail for them just to see if I am being toyed with. If anyone out there prays, please pray a publisher finds me. Please!

Copy of Copy of Stand Strong 8.28.18

Always stand up for yourself, your beliefs, and your intellectual property. I set the price at 14.95. I saw that, who would not hire me, but would sell my book for more than the price I deemed, as the author, formatter, editor, publisher, and cover designer had it at over $16. No. Within 12 hours, I had taken away their rights to try and use me because their company needs to prove to Walmart they can hang with the big dog. Walmart should really consider their ownership of them. Walmart saves their customers money so why was selling it for over the price that I set? It's a shame because I absolutely love Walmart. I was there this morning and the associates are so friendly. The gentleman who works in the tissue and cleaning supplies knows me because I am there at 6am once a week and was excited to see me. I thought about the culture inside of that store: warm, supportive, and friendly and then I thought how are they even in their right mind to be "affiliated" with

So stand up for yourself and use social media strategically. It will set them straight.


Copy of 8.25.18 People on Pages


It is funny. I wish I could weigh people's value with how many words I write about them. It can range from one word to one story. I guess you can see it in the first book. I am at a creative crossroads. I am not an author of fiction. My life is better than fiction.

Remember the "Choose your own Adventure" books? You might get to do that. To me, one adventure is more compelling. The real adventure. The truth. The nonfiction. I have no passion for one person and can't pretend. I have 2 books started with 2 different beginnings, but the same ending. 

Someone downplayed me so I have to downplay them. I am discovering that our truths do not match up. The book depicts them as one desolate dude. An advisor recommended to have them fall in love with the one character. I can't when I feel nothing. The second book will flop if it doesn't feature passion. That is why I am at a creative crossroads.

I am waiting for more feedback from the readers. The sales reports are incorrect. I know who to ask.

Copy of Calm and Coasting 8.21.18


I am 22 pages into the 2nd book. I feel on top of the world. When I write, I feel as if I am the only person in the world. This is so easy to write. There is no bleeding as I type. I am actually sitting here thinking about what I want to do for the book cover. That is what will be challenging. Covers draw them in. 

The content will get heavy and will take composure. I hope this book isn't too long. It will go faster because I can now format like a champion. I can actually release a 3rd. We will see. I still have to think about it. I change my mind a lot. 

I still only have 4 reviews on Amazon and my sales are not matching other numbers so who knows what is going on with that. I stopped checking and want to get this done now. Is it strange that every rejection this year has actually been the best thing for me? I feel really good and really confident. I am immersed in the book so now I have to make sure I eat, sleep, and focus on my emotional well-being. This one honestly though is like yanking a bandaid off. 

Nothing like the first book. For me, at least. I went through it all already.



I do not understand why in Google Search, only my Kindle reviews show up? The paperback which I believe has 12 5-star ratings comes up with no review? Aw that’s right, Amazon only owns 40% of the paperback, why would they want that to sell?

The Paperback has five stars as well and they are true reviews, not fake.

The Paperback has five stars as well and they are true reviews, not fake.

Strange how the Kindle edition has a 5-star rating shown, but the paperback right above shows nothing.

Strange how the Kindle edition has a 5-star rating shown, but the paperback right above shows nothing.

Also, my article with my experience in self-publishing has been posted on Medium if anyone is interested. My Medium link is under my portfolio. It is an 11 minute read so it is pretty long.

Mathematics and Messages

September 2018

Dearest Amazon (KDP),

My readers reaching out do not match the sales statistics with Amazon. I also want my one paperback review added back and my paperback reviews on the first page of my SERP. We are both making shit for money on this. The one difference is, you have a LOT more than me. Honest data and integrity are all I ask for. I’ve been a customer for years. If someone had any guts, they would contact me to work something out. I’d sell the Kindle version to you outright. The paperback matters to me. I know you read my blogs. You know how to contact me.

Really, no activity in 10 days? Come on now. Don’t discount me. I’m attracting visitors reading what I have to say about you. After all, it is the WORLD WIDE WEB.

Also the video tutorials are awful, along with the community. NotJohn is Notsignificant. With the videos, if I wanted to listen to stuttered audio, I’d get a scratched album out and play it. Play and promote a more positive role please.


Your favorite indie author.

Melissa Ann Meade

Surrendering to the Sham


I turned expanded distribution on for all of my books because I didn’t get paid to write anything (well besides college papers) until this year. Not like it is generating a boatload of money anyways.

It has been three months and Amazon continues to disregard me. Nothing is going to change and I don’t know what more I can do. I have other things to focus on. They don’t want to see they are broken and it is not my problem. I tried, but like they say, “ignorance is bliss.”

Conforming to the Capitalists

I just turned on expanded distribution for my books. Let them profit off of me. I know I have integrity and the book is good. May as well, help the economy. I have other things to concern myself with,

Maybe other sellers will actually report the sales. We will see. Wonder how fast the vultures will descend and feast on it? Raising the price as I get under $2.00/book.

I am humble and can stretch the $2 so I am going to let the good times roll!